Just fyi...

I know a lot of crazy fuckers.

Well, I was going to leave the entry just at that, but decided I should spill out some random info to tide you over until my next update. (Assuming there is one.) Monthly blogger, thy name is h.

So here's some random fyi. Please enjoy it. Also please enjoy the fact that I like to split up my 'graphs for easier reading on the 'net. (Yeah, I'm a giver.)

Random fyi

1. People buy some really shitty candy to give to kids on Halloween (hereafter called 'H').

I know this because I had made a plaintive plea (or, ok, I sent a departmental e-mail to my co-workers) asking where all the leftover loot was the day after H. I'm not really a candy person, but peeps have needs sometimes, okay? Everyone made some lame-ass excuses ranging from "My kids ate it all," to "We gave all of it out," to the selfish yet painfully honest, "I'm eating the goods myself, sorry."

So imagine my shock and awe when three weeks later, I returned from my trip to WV to find a plastic bag of cangy (sic) waiting for me on my desk.

The bag, while full, was full of shit, save for 2 Smarties, one minibox of strawberry Nerds, and one small hershey bar (4 squares). And 2 DumDum pops, which I swear have managed to shrink to 3/4 of their original size (or at least the size I knew when I was little). The rest of the bag had Frooties, Bottle Caps, one mooshed Mary Jane, one chocolate with worn (and questionable) foil wrapped around it, a small yellow straw thing probably filled with LSD, a small green straw thing probably filled with cocaine (the big lie), fake Oreo cookies, a bag of Ritz 'smore sandwiches (wtf??) and some weird Japanese bucket thing that said it had mango something-or-other in it for cookies to be dipped in. I gave that to my coworker, he thought the bucket would look cool in his office.

It does.

2. TV Guide sucks now.

3. One of the elevators in my apartment building has been broken for about 2 weeks, and the plans for its repair remain dim. I know because I asked Tonya the Manager about it the other night.

4. My brother and his wife had a baby while I was home. The new niece merits a mention.

5. For Halloween one time, I wore a bag on my head. My parents forgot about the school costume parade (elementary, I was in kindergarten I believe) until too late the nite before. A lot could be said about one's having to wear a brown Kroger bag with uneven eyeholes cut into it and a felt green stem glued to the top of it, but I'm not the person to ask.

6. To this day, I don't shop at Kroger.

7. Just kidding.

8. My friend Leslie had to lead me by the hand because I couldn't see where I was going. Still, I'm pretty sure I wasn't really scarred by the incident.

9. Andrew is a cool name because you can make lots of words out of it. If you're bored, I mean. (And even if you're not.)

10. See how many words you can make out of the following:

Shitty Halloween Candy

Feel free to post your answers as a comment. Words must be real.

Ah, sweet interactivity.