January 06, 2008

Forsaken (not Hoboken)

So for the past few days, I've heard someone's digital alarm going off non-stop. I'm not exactly sure when it starts each night, but I've become aware of it at: 10:06 p.m.; 11:16 p.m. and 12:01 a.m. It's slightly faint, but loud enough to be annoying and ire-inducing.

Beep - beep - beep - beep - beep.

The thing is, I can't tell where it's coming from, which apartment tenant is responsible. Alls I know is the first night it made me so angry that I felt boiling mad. Boiling. Mad.

Because, as I've noted before, what the hell is wrong with people? How hard is it to maintain a lifestyle that doesn't bug your neighbors, hm?

The alarm lasts throughout the night, and I should know, as I've been on a bad schedule lately.

Tonight, around 1:00 a.m., I slipped out of my pjs (a gray thermal shirt and bright red fleece-like pants with Cookie Monster faces and some cookies on them) and put on a black shirt I ordered from L.L. Bean at the crack of dawn during winter break 1989 and some black pants. Stealthy.

I made sure to stick my keys in my pocket, because the last thing I want to do is lock myself out. Not only would they charge me 50 bucks to get back into my apartment, but I'd have to go through the whole "Man, I really really don't want to wake up Johnny the maintenance guy, but I have to, but I don't want to, I don't want to knock and wake him up" waffling. It's the kind of waffling that makes my heart beat a little faster--not because Johnny is cute or anything (he's not really my type)--and is just generally unpleasant.

Then I stepped out and silently walked the hallway. I always feel like people know when I'm doing this, that someone's going to open their door and be all, "What the hell are you doing? Quit skulking around my place!" But I'm sure that's just the paranoia speaking.

Unfortunately, I couldn't ascertain the source. It almost sounded like it was coming from *my* apartment.

But it wasn't.

I went up to the next floor and took a little walk. No luck.

I went up yet another floor, and definitely could say it wasn't the home of the digitally demented.

I came back downstairs to my place unsatisfied. So much for my 7-minute mission.

The worst part is, I think it's stopped now (it's a little after 4), but I can still hear it. I've got my earplugs in (a holdover from the effects of noise at my old apartment) but I feel like I hear beep - beep - beep - beep - beep. So every couple of minutes I'll take out one earplug and listen intently. Not that that helps. I still hear beep-beep-beep in a familiar tone. At least I'm not boiling mad, now I'm just confused.

What if I've become so used to it that I always hear it? Is it like tinnitus? Did Beethoven or some other composer hear this before going deaf? Am I doomed to live with the Telltale Clock forever?

Man. I really need to move somewhere secluded or we need to stop the hands of time from turning.


Blogger Hannah L said...

I have never met a person who so cried out to live in a single-family detached dwelling. Said with the utmost affection. Peruse your real estate ads ... it's a great time to buy.

9:22 PM  
Blogger Hannah L said...

But I don't get the title

9:22 PM  
Blogger Mr. Chinchilla said...

Here's what ya do Flappy one:

Next you take a vacation, set your alarm clock to ring at an ungodly hour--say 3:56 AM. Then stick the alarm clock in a closet or under your bed where it will be difficult, if not impossible for the LL to find it.

Another nice trick is to call your own phone late at night when you're away from the apartment and let it ring off the hook. Guaranteed to annoy your stupid neighbor with the beeps.

I got loads of 'em, baby. Just loads of 'em!

6:43 PM  
Blogger H. said...

Hee. Hannah, you're so right, I totally need a single-family detached dwelling (that is still close to downtown, so I don't have to deal with commuting).

As for the title, I was feelin' all forlorn and lord, why hast thou forsaken me? Then I thought forsaken sounded kinda like Hoboken, so..there you go. Not much of a story, eh? (They can't all be gems...)

Thanks for the ideas, Mr. Chinchilla.

As for an update to this saga...guess what? The fricking alarm shite started again this evening around 11 p.m. No weak alarm either, this baby is brand-spankin' new.

I opened my window to make sure it wasn't coming from the outside.

It wasn't.

So I slipped on my sleuthing clothes around midnight and this time, I went *downstairs* instead of up.

And you know what?

I found the culprit.

Whoever lives (or died) in 404 is going to be getting a little call from management. That's right. I can't hold it in any longer.

But tonite? I suffer in silence, in earplugs, with a headache.

Pass the Real Estate section, willya?

1:10 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home